Gamer Deep Lore, Exhibit #1. The D&D "Blue Book"

Trying to figure out how to write game rules in real time.

This book caused more kids to worship satan than KISS and Lord of the Rings put together.

(I am hoping to do these for a while, because I have a ton of olde gaminge crappe, and going through it is a lot of fun. I’ll put them on Twitter and then put expanded versions here. I hope you enjoy these deep dives into the beginning of the medium.)

This was the first D&D book I ever owned. One day in 4th grade (in 1980), I walked into the classroom and saw some boys around a table playing a game with weird-shaped dice. I knew instantly, at a genetic level, that I wanted in.

That night, I begged my perents to take me to Waldenbooks. I spent $12 on the D&D basic set.

The rules were 48 pages for ALL of D&D. Honestly, they could have tightened it to 45 or so.

(Note level 1 clerics don’t get any spells. The book describes level 2 cleric spells, so I’m convinced this is a HIGHLY unfortunate typo.)

Basic D&D was its own separate rules system and went up to level 3. Elves, dwarves, etc. were covered under the same rules as "Fighting men."

The saving throw system was the same as for all of old D&D, but with a lot of weird vague. A "normal man" used the same chart as "Kobold", but there was a different cart for "Hobgoblin, etc."

"Et cetera" is really doing a lot of work here. What, precisely, is the difference between a goblin et cetera and a hobgoblin et cetera? And what is the difference between a goblin and hobgoblin, anyway? Besides 2 hit points?

Also, even though they only had 48 pages, they managed to find room for the asinine "Magic users roll to be able to learn spells" rules. But at least we know how effective your Magic User with 3 Intelligence will be.

I took a long time to learn how to write combat rules in a clear way that people could use. This jumble was pretty much all of the "how does combat actually WORK" section. Every group had their own homespun tangle of ways to actually run a fight. A lot of groups didn’t even uses boards and figures.

Also, combat was insanely lethal. They could not write a sample combat without some poor bastard dying.

Stupid Bruno. What an IDIOT.

Though they only had 48 pages, they still fully indulged D&D's weird fetish for cursed magic items. And amusing utility items that you use like two times and then die in a fight with 4 orcs because Rope of Climbing sucks.

They even fit in a sample dungeon, with the surreal scaling and blockiness common to all old D&D. (It's not realistic. But it PLAYS very well. Realism is dumb.)

And, of course, it was full of the charming, homespun old-RPG art. I love the drawing of the lizards stacked three high.

The second illustration is the only time women appear in this rulebook.

(Note nobody blinked twice about us 4th graders playing with a game book with bewbs in it. Ahhhh ... The 80s.)

(Note also the writing I added. “Rare” both times. For some reason, I decided to copy the monster rarities from the Monster Manual. I was a lonely child.)

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